Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
