evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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