I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
