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  • In soviet Russia drunk you hides sober you in cigs!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:18pm
  • STFU with the black 'jokes'

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:09pm
  • 11:42. Fucking win And this text is funny as hell.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 3:06am
  • @ 1:30 in soviet Russia, we want to punch you in the face dumbass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 3:17am
  • how do forget shit you did when you were sober? thats like forgetting where you put the beer.

    Submitted by pwndbyJIMbone on Feb 2, 10 at 1:17pm
  • Anybody got any good black jokes to make "stfu with the black jokes" guy pissed...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:41pm
  • In soviet Russia, I hate you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 11:42pm
  • Soviet Russian... A/s/l???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:34pm
  • This actually made me chuckle, fake or not!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:31pm
  • What? Was that... That wasn't... You don't think that was worthy of being called a joke, do you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:33am
  • I've got a black guy in my family tree... He's been hanging there a while Any blacks wanna come to a Bon fire? You could all be the main attraction, the more the better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 4:07pm
  • I tire of these overdone drunk/sober dual personality texts.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:40pm
  • This would make more sense if it was a drunk you hiding them from a sober you... Most people will remember unless absolutely hammered

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:18pm
  • I love how its one post about being drunk and sober and ppl talk about AA, black jokes and all this random shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 11:59pm
  • Don't wear black and white all the blacks will scream ZEBRA! And throw spears at you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:23am
  • Hey 2:41 how long does it take a Black to take a shit? 9 months.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:28pm
  • What do you call a black guy with a new bicycle?\n\nA theif!

    Submitted by alphajohnson on Dec 31, 10 at 12:04pm
  • More like a stupid bitch. You'd remember shit you did when you were sober...ass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:20am
  • In Nazi occupied France... Only Ones who smoked were the blacks... -inglorious Basterd...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:40pm
  • Whats the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?...... The bucket

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 5:43am
  • hopefully it was a fresh pack and it will be found later when you need cigs. dumbass

    Submitted by willnotz23 on Feb 2, 10 at 8:12pm
  • Shit floats... -inglourious basterd...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:57pm
  • @ 1:37, don't read tfln if you get offended by the things posted on here. Dumbass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:15pm
  • Made my week

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 9:03am
  • Everyone needs to calm downnnnnnn

    Submitted by StarWarsTooMuch on Feb 3, 10 at 6:41pm
  • Lulz

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 11:03am
  • AA is for quiters

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:47pm
  • for me, high me hides shit from sober me. resulting ing in me forgetting where high me put them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 6:06pm
  • Haha. That's funny. I had to do that once. Didn't work out I found everything.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 8:12pm
  • In soviet Russia... The cigs hide u... -keeps it up commrades...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:19pm
  • HAHAHAHA

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:56am
  • Try AA. You need help. Alcohol and cigarettes. Get a life and try healthy living for a change.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:37pm
    • why don't you go bother someone who actually wants you to tell them what to do with their life? that would be ineedhelpwithmylife.com not textsfromlastnight.com, we are here for laughs not criticism

      Submitted by roughnroudy on Feb 2, 10 at 8:07pm
    • healthy living doesn't lead to funny texts from last night. JOG ON FUCKER

      Submitted by willnotz23 on Feb 2, 10 at 8:13pm
  • Don't leave your cigs with the blacks. They'll be gone when you come back for them. - Soviet Russian 

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:21pm
  • In soviet russia, cigs hide you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:30am
  • My problem is when drunk me hides things cuz sober me won't remember where they hell I put something til I come across it a month later randomly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:10pm
  • Lmao 10:23

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 1:36am
  • Aww come on 3:17 that was actually a good one

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 7:32am
  • HAHAHA, this has happened to me OH so many times!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 4:36pm
  • TAR BABY

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:34pm
  • I think we need some new texts where people don't anthropomize their drunken selves as seperate people and find it humorous.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 8:07am
  • Definately heard this before...good try though

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 9:10pm
  • Hahahahahahahaha halarious!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 6, 10 at 11:17pm
  • What's the diff between a nig and a piece of shit...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:33pm
  • "Sober me / Drunk me" texts are PLAYED OUT, and were barely clever to begin with.

    Submitted by aNoNoMoose on Feb 2, 10 at 2:40pm