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  • how do forget shit you did when you were sober? thats like forgetting where you put the beer.

    Submitted by pwndbyJIMbone on Feb 2, 10 at 1:17pm
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  • 11:42. Fucking win And this text is funny as hell.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 3:06am
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  • In soviet Russia drunk you hides sober you in cigs!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:18pm
    170 150
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  • @ 1:30 in soviet Russia, we want to punch you in the face dumbass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 3:17am
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  • STFU with the black 'jokes'

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:09pm
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  • This would make more sense if it was a drunk you hiding them from a sober you... Most people will remember unless absolutely hammered

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:18pm
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  • Anybody got any good black jokes to make "stfu with the black jokes" guy pissed...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:41pm
    164 168
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  • Soviet Russian... A/s/l???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:34pm
    166 172
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  • In soviet Russia, I hate you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 11:42pm
    156 153
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  • I tire of these overdone drunk/sober dual personality texts.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:40pm
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  • What do you call a black guy with a new bicycle?\n\nA theif!

    Submitted by alphajohnson on Dec 31, 10 at 12:04pm
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  • Whats the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?...... The bucket

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 5:43am
    150 152
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  • Don't wear black and white all the blacks will scream ZEBRA! And throw spears at you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:23am
    150 157
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  • More like a stupid bitch. You'd remember shit you did when you were sober...ass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:20am
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  • I love how its one post about being drunk and sober and ppl talk about AA, black jokes and all this random shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 11:59pm
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  • I've got a black guy in my family tree... He's been hanging there a while Any blacks wanna come to a Bon fire? You could all be the main attraction, the more the better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 4:07pm
    150 162
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  • Hey 2:41 how long does it take a Black to take a shit? 9 months.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:28pm
    148 159
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  • Everyone needs to calm downnnnnnn

    Submitted by StarWarsTooMuch on Feb 3, 10 at 6:41pm
    142 155
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  • What? Was that... That wasn't... You don't think that was worthy of being called a joke, do you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:33am
    149 169
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  • This actually made me chuckle, fake or not!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:31pm
    139 152
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  • Made my week

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 23, 10 at 9:03am
    133 142
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  • AA is for quiters

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:47pm
    137 153
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  • Shit floats... -inglourious basterd...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:57pm
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  • In Nazi occupied France... Only Ones who smoked were the blacks... -inglorious Basterd...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:40pm
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  • HAHAHAHA

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 10:56am
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  • hopefully it was a fresh pack and it will be found later when you need cigs. dumbass

    Submitted by willnotz23 on Feb 2, 10 at 8:12pm
    143 168
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  • for me, high me hides shit from sober me. resulting ing in me forgetting where high me put them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 6:06pm
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  • In soviet Russia... The cigs hide u... -keeps it up commrades...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:19pm
    134 155
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  • Haha. That's funny. I had to do that once. Didn't work out I found everything.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 8:12pm
    133 155
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  • Don't leave your cigs with the blacks. They'll be gone when you come back for them. - Soviet Russian 

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:21pm
    140 170
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  • Lulz

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 11:03am
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  • @ 1:37, don't read tfln if you get offended by the things posted on here. Dumbass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 2:15pm
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  • Try AA. You need help. Alcohol and cigarettes. Get a life and try healthy living for a change.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:37pm
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    • why don't you go bother someone who actually wants you to tell them what to do with their life? that would be ineedhelpwithmylife.com not textsfromlastnight.com, we are here for laughs not criticism

      Submitted by roughnroudy on Feb 2, 10 at 8:07pm
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    • healthy living doesn't lead to funny texts from last night. JOG ON FUCKER

      Submitted by willnotz23 on Feb 2, 10 at 8:13pm
      132 176
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  • Lmao 10:23

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 1:36am
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  • My problem is when drunk me hides things cuz sober me won't remember where they hell I put something til I come across it a month later randomly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:10pm
    133 171
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  • Aww come on 3:17 that was actually a good one

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 7:32am
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  • In soviet russia, cigs hide you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 1:30am
    127 164
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  • Hahahahahahahaha halarious!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 6, 10 at 11:17pm
    128 167
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  • TAR BABY

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 1:34pm
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  • I think we need some new texts where people don't anthropomize their drunken selves as seperate people and find it humorous.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 8:07am
    138 191
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  • Definately heard this before...good try though

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 9:10pm
    113 151
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  • What's the diff between a nig and a piece of shit...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 2, 10 at 3:33pm
    124 175
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  • "Sober me / Drunk me" texts are PLAYED OUT, and were barely clever to begin with.

    Submitted by aNoNoMoose on Feb 2, 10 at 2:40pm
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  • HAHAHA, this has happened to me OH so many times!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 4:36pm
    124 184
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