are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
MIDGETS
????
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
