He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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