Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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