Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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