How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pants are for mortals
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
