just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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