Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
