My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
