I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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