I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just pee around me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
