did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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