it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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