i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
