Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
