I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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