I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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