He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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