He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My dick has a subreddit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
