My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
