don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
