You just made me feel so damn special
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
