question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A bitchslap is in order.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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