dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
