Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
