They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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