I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They took my balls.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
