thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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