well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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