I love black thongs
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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