We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
