think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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