after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Send us your Text From Last Night!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
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