just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
