omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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