I accidentally burped into my bong.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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