things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
handjob tips. give me some.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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