There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so explain again why im purple
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
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