I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
