The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
