Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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