the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
