i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The adults are the big ones right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
