i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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