Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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