There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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