coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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