Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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