READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
