The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
