What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
