We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
