Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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