He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize