im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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