I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I looked at my own cervix.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
