Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
