Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
