Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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