Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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