This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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