Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
