I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
