My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so let's talk penis.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
