I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
